Sorry my ♥

Sorry to you♥ again...
i am disappointed you♥ again..rite...?
i spoilt up everything..
i feel guilty..
as i make u unhappy AGAIN..
you are trying to tam me..but i still tat type of attitude..
i gt try to tam u bac too..
but i dunno how...
you are trying to me know tat u're ok..
you hope to let me feel ok..
but i know..
is different..
i oso can feel it d...
although we are not argue..
but it's nearly..
i hurt you♥ d..rite..?
myself did not feel good..
i promise you♥
will change it..
wat u had said..

wish to receive ur msg tomorrow morning..
Good Night..♥
Muacks♥

sorry...

It's a Diary

tis blog gonna be my diary..
since i update everyday..
although exam is on 1st of feb..
i still keep on update and click on my blog everyday to see who is updated his/her blog..
but seems like is no one update their blog..

i miss yesterday♥
miss the time having a expensive japanese dinner♥
miss the videocall time with my love one♥
miss the time we play tic-tac-toe..UNO..and the jigsaw puzzle♥
we completed together♥
really miss ah♥

as i said in my earlier post..
dear♥ was took his laptop to repair tis morning..
he bring me along..
really happy d..
at first..
i still tot he cant wake on time since he was slept at 5 something..
too bad..
next time u still like tat..
i really angry d..
not good for health de lo..
haiz..

yea yea..after tat..
we went to parade again..
guess wat we ate..?
SUSHI KING again..
dear♥ like addicted d...
but i know dear♥ is purposely bring me go eat d..
thanks dear♥ so so so much..

went to my home..
and we sleep..
coz both of us oso tired d..
1 sleep for 4 hours..
1 sleep for 5 hours..
tired!!

i am super duper miss you♥
awaiting the day after 6th of feb..
wan go out and really shopping with dear♥
muacks..♥

eye is red..

heart is pain..

body is tired..

Good Night..
Bye..=)

♥ You ♥

nah..since you♥ ask me to write my blog..^^
ok la..
see..i so guai er..
how are you going to encourage me er..?hehe

erm..want to write bout wat ler..?
now is already 1.21am..
and i have to wake up at 7am tomorrow morning..means today ler..
dunno i can wake or not tim..

little is not happpy..
dunno wat happen ler..
hope she is ok er..
just always think tat he is the special 1 ler..=)

yesterday..
first time dear♥ videocall me through msn..
so funny and happy er..hehe..^^
today..
dear♥ call me again er..
but!!
no more for tomorrow ler..
coz he is going to take his laptop to repair ler..
haiz..
i dun wan er..
dear♥
you have to msg me de oo..
ok..?
muacks♥

Love You♥

Good Night My Dear♥
Good Night everyone..

♥ Him ♥

finally today can meet dear♥d..
came sharp at 2 i think..
but the 2++ hours is really not enough for us d..
we din see each other for few days..
but is better than ntg ler..
and now we have to wait untill sunday only can meet..
but tis time is different..
he is not coming to my house anymore..
i dun wan exam!!
is not becoz i dun wan to study..
is becoz i dun wan cant sleep with him♥...
is so suffer..
and time really hard to pass..
haiz..but wat to do wor..
haiz haiz haiz haiz.................
thousand of haiz oso not enough ah..

come bac to today..
was really very happy when see dear♥..
it was like we din meet each other for how many years d..
hugged tight tight..
hmmm...dear♥really treat me very good er..
i say wan go kfc den he♥bring me go d..
happy to eat with u er..
when is our next time er..
awaiting ah..
after exam..
must must must bring me out..
i wan watch movie with u..
since we never watch movie in cinema together..
ok..?
muacks ♥

tis year valentine's day is oso chinese new year..
celebrate earlier ok..?
no need so special d..
just wan go out with u♥
muacks ♥


bye bye..^^

sien~~

is very sien now..
the feel is like having sem break now..
coz sem break oso stay at home and do ntg 1..
but the truth is..
now is not sem break..
is study week..
and exam is coming very very soon..
which is few more days to go..
but actually is a good thing oso..
exam before chinese new year..
so that we can enjoy the chinese new year..
no need to study during cny..
and and and..
before cny we still have 1 more week..
can go shopping and buy clothes..
awaiting er..

time fly..
is the end of sem 2..
final coming end..
sem break coming..
and sem 3 is coming too..
in sem 2..
new experience for me..
met all the new ppl in stream A..
no need take bus to campus..
seriously..
gt a bit 'bu she de' stream A d fren..
some of them la...
not everyone of course..
besides jien them..maximum..david leong..playboy..foai..tan shao ling..and mango them lur..
although we not tat close..
but we had been classmate for 14 weeks..
and u all celebrated my birthday too..
thanks =)

in sem 3..
going to have same timetable with yee ching,kay sing and michael..
actually is very scare of morning class..
scare i cant wake and take bus..
but i think i can manage..
just left 2 subjects..
cant always skip class le..
and dear say he will fetch me..
thanks first oo..
but i sure will pay u 1..
dun care whether u wan or not..^^

really hope that i can get CGPA 3.0 and above..
hope i can do it..
and wish dear can get better result than last sem..
means CGPA 3.3 and above..
wish all my frens can get the result tat will satisfy them too..

management is really hard..arghh!!

photo for blood donation

the badge..proud..^^

completed..resting..

my 'present'

my blood..blood group = O

measuring the pressure

tat's all..=)

sleepless

im here again..
3rd post for today..
i cant fall asleep...
something is keep on n cant stop...
actually i gt nt much to say..
but i have ntg to do oso..
wat should i do now..?
my heart really feel pain..
i feel helpless..
wordless too..
how much i love him...
i cant descibe..
dunno how to put my love to him in few words..
even i love him..
is oso not enough..
although im not always tell u tat i love u face to face..
but i do love u with my heart..
everytime argue with u is like in the hell..
the level of suffer..
cant describe as well..
no one is perfect in this world..
n i just have more 'que dian' than others..
i admit..
im not a good person..
not a good girlfren..
not a good fren...
even not a good daughter too..
but tat is real me..
i can change..
trying to change too..
he had gave me many chances..
everytime oso is my fault..
i shouldn't simply say thing without use the brain..
i really feel regret..
but word is out..
and i dunno wat to do..
i type so many words here..
but i dunno wat im typing..
i really dunno wat to do..
to let him call me bac dear..
i hope he can forgive me again..
sorry yoong jen...i am sorry..

sorry

i really not tat meaning..
pls forgive me...
i really dunno wat else can i say..
my heart is damn pain now..

i scare he wont forgive me anymore...
the most important ppl in my life..
ya..he is..
family should come first..
but then he occupied the place..

i no suspect him at all..
i swear..
but it is really my fault..
i am such a failure..
kill me pls..

tis is the black colour in my life..
kar lin say: god wont create problem without solution..
it is very true..
but ..
at this moment..
i cant find any solution to solve my problem....

half way

was studying just now..

and just till page 2..

end up with this blog..

haiz..

today morning went to kopitiam to have a breakfast with dear^^

after tat went to parade..

just walk walk lu..

since the coin had choose for us..^^

while walking to 5G gallery..

suddenly i found tat my phone is not in my pocket..

is not in dear d pocket too..

sei..

i tot lost jor..

quickly go the car there see gt or not..

luckily..it was in my car..

if not cry sei me lo..

no phone how to sms with dear ah..

den go bac to parade again..

we eat sushi again..^^

happy happy..^^

after eat sushi den go home d..

so many cars when we bac..

coz today gt school..

finally..reach dear d house..

so bu she de..

feel like dun wan open the door for him..

haiz..when only we can meet ah dear..

sad sei me ler..

we cant sleep together for 1 month er..

not 1 day er..

haiz..

ntg to write le..bye..

no mood d...=(

no title

currently at ipoh again..
will stay here for another week..

my first time..
blood donation..
had captured a lot of photo tat day..
but now is damn no mood to upload those photo..
feel scare when is come to my turn..
but actually is ntg and i feel very normal..
no dizzy..
no faint..
no pain..
everything normal..
and i realise that my blood group is O..
universal donor..=)
thanks weng and shan accompany me..
going to donate again next time..

coming weeks will be the most sad week for me..
he is not coming anymore..
starts worry..
scare tis will affect my study mood..
and for sure it will..
dun scold me if i cry again..
coz myself oso cant control..
a bit fed-up with my life...

about d timetable..
can feel tat he wan to change..
but dunno will change or not..
if not..
again..
becoz of me..?
if yes..
i will wait u until friday d..
wont ask parent come fetch me d..
will wait for u..
really..
is purposely write to let u see...
hope u will read it..

will accept everything..
if it is a must to happen..
coz samething..
i cant control..
sad and cry..
after tat..
happy sure will come bac to me..i trust..
it's the timing problem only..
cry as hard as i can when im not happy..
to express it out..
i will feel better after tat..
but if no need to cry is the best ler..

god bless me..
bless dear..
bless everyone..

freaking sad...

listening to Leaving by westlife..
tears rolling down..
i beg u don't go but i already know you're leaving..
u had promised me..
i remember wat u told me word by word..
every single word...
when i heard tat..
i really feel disappointed n i cant act ntg..
act like nvm..though i tell u nvm through sms..
but i mind..i really mind..
tell u nvm is scare u angry..but i know u know me well..u sure know i will feel very sad..
i really tot u will come to accompany me..
my stomach not feeling well..
tot u can come sayang me..
my heart really pain..
i know i cant blame u..
u already come here for 3 nights d..
but..
forgive my selfish..
i really wish to sleep with u everynight..
the night without u..
is so long..
so hard to pass..
i so bu she de you..
but wat can i do..

sorry for always make u into trouble..
im the useless gf for u..
the useless ppl in the world..
i scare of loneliness..
scare being lonely..
especially at night..

sorry dear...

stomachache

recently..i always stomachache..
quite worry d..
but i insist on dun wan go see doctor..
I DON'T WANT..!!!
dun ask me to see doctor ler..
scare scare..

now have a very comfortable d feeling..
coz just have a nice bath..
hehe..
had dried my hair too..
and the note is now beside my laptop..
plan to study a bit..
whole day din study dao..
as i went to jusco just now..
with jien shan n weng..
shan purposely go down to buy shoe..
we go gai gai lo..
ntg to buy go walk har oso syok..
used jor money too..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
yesterday 18-1-2009
first time go tesco and eat sushi with dear..
really first time er..
coz dear not really like to eat sushi de..
a bit disappointed...coz no egg mayo..haiz..
make me n dear not happy jor a while..
after eat..go walk har ler..
guess wat we bought..
2 small box colour pencil..haha
dear say writing for business gt use dao oo..
hehe...went home after tat..
say dun wan come..but come at last..
happy happy...^^
unhappy d thing..forgot d..=)
treasure d time together with him..muacks

dear ask me write we go eat sushi in my blog de..^^

ipoh

feels like wan to bac to ipoh now...
can i go bac now..
can someone fetch me bac..?
ntg to do here..
somemore all my notes are in ipoh..
using laptop to study..
so inconvenient..
cant make note..cant highlight..
just read through...
sure forget easily.
haiz..
final coming soon le..
very soon..
still gt lotssssssssssss to study...

SOCIOLOGY..

i totally not understand wat it is talking bout..

MARKETING..

is hard for me..

MASS COMM..

hope to get an A for this subject..

MANAGEMENT..

hope to get an A too..but it is hard too..

WEB PAGE..

same situation with last sem d computer studies..sien..

WRITING FOR BUSINESS..

no hope..get the lowest mark in class..first time..stupid me..


bye..

Dear

currently at ipoh n my dear in kampar..

he said: tell me tat u din go bac to ipoh, say tat u still in kampar.
i cried..i really cried after saw his msg..
first time he say like tis..
n the main point is..
i do miss him like how he miss me..
even more, more and more...

he ask: only two of us, u oso not dare to call me meh..?
me: Dear, Dear, wake up le..7 something le..
he: is sweet..

he is now sleeping..
he is like a big baby..
i like to massage for him while he doing things..
like to give him a kiss on cheek..
is really love him..
sincerely hope tat i can together with him till the end of the world..
muacks...

me n dear..thanks Yee Ching to give us tis opportunity to take a photo like tis..

cant describe how much i love tis pic..same like how i love him <3

thanks Yan Yee..give us tis opportunity too..seriously..we really so seldom take photo..appreciate-ing..dear really look so smart in formal..

 

final coming soon..
really need to study hard..
hope all of us..
can get a very good result..
a result tat we satisfy with it..
add oil n gambateh everyone..
good luck and all the best..
night dear and everyone..
bye =)

p/s:u never be a fren tat i like as ur bad image in my mind deeply...

hurt

argue..
the way he reply me is so hurt..

Changed..

as wat i said earlier..
everything has changed..
no longer last time d one i know..
not the outside changed..
is inside..
all changed...
last time just know how to critiques ppl..
but then now....
is the same only...

y..?
is it two things never can come to a balance..?
i shouldn't be so selfish..
but i just cant control myself..
i wish to go bac last time..
d happy time we have..
im not the perfect person..
just let me be tat selfish..
and if u mind..
oso nevermind..
dun care le..
blog is the only place i can shout out my voice..
sometimes i feel suffer..
wonder wat im doing as a human..
y should i be so unhappy..?
and im not purposely wan to be unhappy..
my eq is low..i admit..
i dunno n cant control my feelings well..
maybe im tat straight ppl..
tats..
i will smile if im happy..
i will not smile if im not happy..
tats me..
real me..
dun like to be fake to my fren..

is confusing..
sometimes is still treat me good..
but is not same as wat we do last time..
really cant be so selfish d..
sorry for im too selfish..

tis sem gonna end soon..
problem is coming to me too..
transport..
main problem..
but i think i can take bus..
i still can take bus even im alone..
i sincerely trust tat i will have my car 1 day..
i mean 1 day...
is still waiting the day come to me..

currently alone-ing..
the feel is coming too..
miss him..=(

hope

i hope he can come tonight..
but..seems like impossible le..

suffering

is suffering from many many things..
is crying hard now..
i really like wan to die now..
is really meaningless at here..
my heart is damn pain..
i need my dear..
where are you..?
he is very busy and i not dare to find him..
but i really need him at this moment..
dun tell him if u read my blog..

i need to be more independent...
cannot depend on fren too much..
even though they dun wan take care of me i still can take care myself..
but when only i can do it..?
i really hate the situation now..
i just dun wan to be so lonely here..
cannot..?

tat is ur fate..
no one can change it..

wish tat i can go home now..
kampar is a scary place for me now..
i hate alone n lonely...
i hate it so much..
no one can understand my feelings now..

2010

its 2010..
6th january..
sorry for never wish u all happy new year..
HAPPY NEW YEAR..
time goes so fast..
especially 2009..
dunno why..
its really pass so fast..

what i had done in 2009...
something quite special..
something i never experience before..

after spm..
while waiting for the result..
i had my first job in a small super market which is just nearby my house..
seriously..
i hate tat supermarket..
i hate everything inside there..
except my aunt who work there..
is a stupid market..lol..
but no choice..
tats the only choice coz gt ppl fetch me to work...
worked for dunno how many weeks d..
forgot d..=P
learn new things..get new frens..
chit-chating when working..
purposely go toilet for curi-tulang..^^
are all still in my mind clearly..

after few weeks..
stopped working in supermarket..
changed a new situation..
a situation tat i love the most..
i worked as a receptionist in HOTEL REGENCY..
which located in Ipoh..nearby hospital besar ipoh..
i really learn thousand of things while working at there..
is happy..besides get scold everyday from guest and the head..
guess wat..i worked there for 1 month..
and I GET NTG FROM TAT..
my salary..?
RM0.00
is sad right..?
they i just came for training..
so no need pay for me..
ok fine..
forget bout tis..
is over..
but i still happy tat learn lots of thing n know a lot of frens there..

result out..
only 4A..
is in my expectation..
i satisfy with it..
but i tot i can get A at least A2 for Chemistry..
but i only get B3..
watever ler..
is not the main point d..

never think tat will go form 6..
UTAR is my only choice..
the reason..?
u all oso know d ler..=)


may intake..
starts a relationship..=)
stay in kampar alone..
go bac every weekend...
mid term..
assignment..
presentation..
final..
sem break..
start of second sem..

and now is 2010 d..
my target for this year..?
i dunno..
really..never set something like tis for every year..
i just hope to get hihger CGPA for tis sem..
at least higher than last sem..
this is wat i hope..

i hope to get a car too..
but..
haiz..
forget bout it first..

k la..
tats all..
night..=)

failed

just now said trying best to hold my tears..
but now it fall down d..
im failed..
think of many things..
how good if i own a car..
it is super duper good if i have my own car..
no need to ma fan ppl..
wan go where jiu go where...
i really hope to have a car..
feel dun wan take bus to school next sem..
the feel is bad..
at least ready 1 hour before ur class..
wait at campus..till ur class start/ till have bus..
the feel is really bad..
but i have no choice..
bus d only choice for me..
hope to get my car 1 day..
im waiting..


seriously miss him now..
tomorrow press conference..
hope i can go see his press conference..
hope tomorrow he can come...
all the best to him and his groupmates..
dear..ebel miss u lotzz..
muacks..

T.T

wish to receive ur msg now..
feel wan cry d..

sad sad week..

this week will be a super duper sad week for me..
dear will be very busy this week..
4 presentations...
haiz..
thus, he wont be here and sleep together with me this week..
how sad is this..
haiz..
a huge haiz again..
gonna miss my dear till die d..
sure cry every night..
becoz of missing him..
so envy jien n shan..
jien can sleep with her bebe everyday..
shan can meet her lao gong everyday..
still dunno gt chance to meet my dear or not..
i start miss him d..
how to pass this week without yoong jen..?
how..?
haiz..
now..
the only thing that i hope is..
he is ok in everything..
den is more than enough d..
really worry he will very tired..
scare he will get sick..
i dun wan he sick..
DON'T WANT..!!!

take care my lovely dear..
lao po will miss u so so so so much..
all the best in every presentation..

p/s:for the people who can meet my dear..pls help me to take care him..
    thanks so much..=)
p/s:wanna start study d..wish to use my time to study instead of crying..hope i
    can success..

bubey..^^

haiz...=(

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